Neon – Dan's Road Trip Adventures

Cabana Bay

Dan Century December 5, 2020December 29, 2022 Leave a comment

During a normal year, I spend about 45 days in hotels. Some ancient, some brand new. Some clean, some crusty. Some fancy like a peacock, some plain as white bread. But nothing is ever as unique as Cabana Bay in Orlando, Florida.

On December 3rd, 2019 I was driving from Fayetteville, NC with the goal of reaching Miami by the 5th. I had time to spare. I crossed the Florida border around 6 pm, with 5 more hours of driving ahead of me, and no hotel booked. So I had the bright idea, “I’m in Florida, let’s go to NASA”. Bad idea. Elon Musk was launching a rocket the next day, so every hotel room in a 30-mile radius of Cape Canaveral was booked up.

Scrolling through some travel apps, it appeared the closest hotels with vacancies were in Orlando. “Okay, I’ve never been to Orlando, let’s check it out.” Searching, scrolling, searching, scrolling, and a listing comes up for a hotel called Cabana Bay, with images — as I remember it — lots of oranges, teals, maybe some yellows, maybe some greens. Colors that shouted “1960s mall decor”, “Eames molded plastic chair”, and “tangerine cafeteria tray”. It’s weird. I’m tired. I’m almost desperate to find lodging. I booked one night — just one night.

Then I arrived…

I arrived and all the orange, yellow, green & blue neon, palm trees, and wild 1950-60s architecture captured my mind. Where was I? Vegas? 1959? I parked illegally. Grabbed my bags. Got in a line. And immediately added 2 days to my stay. And a free pen. Got that too.

So what is Cabana Bay? It’s a massive mid-century Americana-themed hotel that’s part of the Universal Studios theme park. Read about it on the architecture firm’s website. Primarily, it’s patronized by families going to Universal Studios to ride the Harry Potter roller coaster. Aside from the hotel rooms, there’s a massive cafeteria (designed to look & feel like a mid-century cafeteria), a bowling alley, a few bars, an arcade, a huge pool area, a gift shop, and a Starbucks (of course). If you see a mid-century-looking hotel in a movie, it’s usually Cabana Bay.

I stayed in the Continental wing. Look at that neon. Look at that font. Check out the tangerine-orange, pool-bottom turquoise, appliance green, and beefsteak crimson.

A Hanna-Barbera-style cartoon mural at one end of the cafeteria (Christmas tree because it was December):

A lot of the photos I took were at 1 am or later — that’s why it looks vacant. The cafeteria:

I spend hours taking photos. Check out this lighting fixture:

Check out these chairs (yeah I sat in them):

And the neon sign for the bowling alley. Yeah, I… went to the bar.

Check out this fancy Christmas drink:

Even the parking deck looked awesome:

What else? The staff was excellent. The lady in the gift shop spent 10 minutes telling me about the history of the place. She was awesome. The main bar and the bartenders were fantastic. The cafeteria food was… cafeteria food — lots of choices, but nothing too fancy. My room was clean — it came with a bar of Zest soap. There are a free shuttle and free admission to Universal City Walk (kinda boring unless you’re a family). None of the families and their kids were annoying. Just a great, very memorable hotel.

South of the Border at Night

Dan Century November 26, 2020December 29, 2022 Leave a comment

South of the Border is a roadside attraction that needs no introduction. I’ve written about it before: South of the Border, the Quintessential Roadside Attraction (if you do need an introduction).

I visited the attraction twice in December of 2019 — once during the day (12/3), and once at night (12/10). During the day, all the shops & restaurants are open for business. At night, the shops are closed & the place becomes a neon ghost town.

I didn’t plan on visiting South of the Border at night, but when I passed it — all lit up like a bowl of electric candy — I could not resist. How often do you get to explore a tourist attraction when you’re the only tourist? Rare. I stopped, walked around, it was worth it.

I saw one other guy, and we were both taking photos of the giant Pedro statue:

The Hot Tamale restaurant & “hot dog” statue:

Fort Pedro Fireworks store:

Pedro’s Pantry convenience store:

Ice Cream shop with Christmas Tree:

Giant neon sombrero tower:

“Never Fart” (Josh) sticker on a dumpster:

The big, colorful neon South of the Border sign visible from the highway:

A Rave about Hunter DineRant

Dan Century October 16, 2018December 29, 2022 Leave a comment

The diner: that great American species of the restaurant! When I think of a diner, I think of a variety of food, at a reasonable price. Eggs at 2 am. A place where cash-strapped young adults can gather and converse, recovering from or plotting their next adventure over black coffee and fries. A place where laughs, worries, and dreams can be shared among friends.

Hunter Dinerant (I’m guessing Dinerant is a portmanteau of diner & restaurant) is located in Auburn, New York, about 3 miles north of Finger Lake, Owasco Lake. On Google, it’s called “Hunter’s Dinerant”, but the actual signage lacks the apostrophe. The Dinerant seems to hang over the side of the Owasco River.

The Dinerant is what I would call a classic American diner. Not quite the romanticized Hollywood version with a cast of gum-snapping, pomade-greased teenagers bopping about — but close.

The Dinerant has many of the features that every classic diner should have:

It is shaped like a railroad dining car. A single aisle down the center. Curved corners.
It is wrapped in gleaming chrome and detailed with crimson and white stripes.
It has booths for groups and a counter & stools for solitary folks.
Cadillac-pink vinyl upholstery. Pink Formica everywhere.
Meat-pink floors flecked with white and black confetti patterns.
Vinyl-protected menus listings dozens, if not hundreds of reasonably priced comfort foods.
A mini jukebox at every table, with alpha-numeric keypads. You want to play a song just to feel the mechanical pop of those keys.

This type of diner differs from the Jersey Greek diners I’m used to. Jersey Greek diners lack the railroad dining car shape and 1950s aesthetic. Same basic food and jukeboxes though.

The waitress was polite and welcomed me to sit wherever I like. I ordered a coffee, fries, and a grilled cheese on white — my personal favorite diner foods. It’s been 5 months since I was there, but I remember the coffee was strong, but not burnt, bitter, or sour. It was perfect. Nice white porcelain mug. The fries — not too thin, not too thick — I covered with a reasonable shower of ketchup — that familiar micro-moment resistance of the fried outside, giving way to the soft potato fluff inside. The grilled cheese was photo perfect — cut on a diagonal. Each bite was a harmony of buttery, barely-crisp bread, oozing with just hot enough to not burn your mouth American cheese. Delicious. Exactly the lunch I needed to supply the energy for a long day of driving.

Visit the Hunter Dinerant for its classic looks and a perfect diner meal. Marvel at how it partially hangs over the side of a small river.

Interior of the Dinerant — thankfully just one TV, with the volume turned low. So much pink and chrome.

The exterior of the Dinerant — see the river below?

Across the street and to the right you’ll see a large pale red sign for Genesee Beer. It looks like it was once neon, but the tubes have been removed.

Dick’s Drive-In and Driving Around Seattle

Dan Century October 31, 2016December 29, 2022 Leave a comment

The point of this article is to showcase Dick’s Drive-In’s amazing rotating, partially neon sign. Look at this sign. Just look at it.

The rest is a ramble about driving around Seattle in a rental car:

The week before last I found myself in Seattle, Washington on a business trip. The rental car was a Toyota Yaris, a peppy sub-compact that gave me the odd feeling of driving while sitting on a bar stool — higher up than expected, never quite comfortable, ever feeling like I could topple off at any moment. I never felt like the Yaris was my car — I felt like Hertz could remotely eject me from the vehicle at will or whim. This is fine. A rental car should remind you that you’re only visiting, and not here to stay (and perhaps not welcome). Yaris — weird, but fun to drive.

Every big city likes to brag about its traffic. L.A. takes an hour to move 5 miles. NYC has its gridlock. Atlanta has drivers who refuse to use turn signals. Seattle has bad traffic for its own reasons. Reason number one: it rains a lot. Rain is annoying as-is, but the accompanying foggy windows and tire-swallowing flooding are even worse. I imagine Seattle’s hilly streets can be quite treacherous on icy winter days. Number two: much of the area looks rural, but it is actually a city; hilly, tree-lined neighborhoods of bungalow-style homes quickly transition to congested highways — unexpected and jarring. Number three: the high-traffic times seem to last longer than expected — like from 5pm to 8:30pm. I wonder if this is due to folks working in the tech industry, where 12-hour days are the norm (Microsoft, Amazon). Think you’re going to avoid traffic by leaving at 7:30 pm — NOPE! Number four: Seattle-area drivers are not courteous. I live in New Jersey — a state that celebrates its rudeness; we call it “unhöflichkeitstolz” — Seattle is just as rude. If you see someone in the lane to your left who has signaled that they want to merge into your lane, give them space and let them in. Combine this set of challenges with an abundance of residents and visitors because of the tech industry, and driving around Seattle can be miserable. Seattle residents seem to take pride in their miserable traffic. “Elendstolz” or “misery pride” in German (I made that up).

Combine Seattle traffic with a less-than-accurate GPS, and a half-hour trip becomes an hour and a half. If you’ve read my Maryland trips this year, you know I enjoy when my demented GPS takes me to places I otherwise would have never known. When time is a factor, however, a GPS that continually thinks you’re driving 1 street to your right can be both bemusing and vexing. You’re going to miss a half dozen exits and make 100 wrong turns, but you’re also going to accidentally see the tent cities, shipyards, the first Starbucks, the Fremont troll, and dozens of other sights the typical visitor will miss.

The Dick’s Drive-In I spied was on North 45th street, which also features the tentacle neon of the Octopus Bar, and the brick and mortar manifestation of Archie McPhee. The Dick’s Drive has no servers on roller skates or food trays that hang on your doors — this is not the 1950s. Instead, you find parking, wait in line, watch workers prepare burgers, fries, and shakes in bright, medically-white clean conditions, place your order, your order appears in about 10 seconds, you pay, and then you leave. Very efficient. No sass or insincerity. After an hour of Seattle traffic, simplicity and efficiency are what you need.

The “B-Side” of the rotating sign.

Archie McPhee in Seattle

Dan Century February 21, 2016December 29, 2022 Leave a comment

What would life be without the occasional zany novelty item? Life would be gray, dull, routine, and boring. It would be a song that has rhythm, but no melody.

The front of the store. Note the neon sign, and lizard face and notice that they were moving locations:

Archie McPee is the grand champion of zany but tasteful novelties (they seem to stay away from the fart and sex jokes). They have their favorite topics, like rubber ducks, rubber chickens, bacon, cats, Bigfoot, squirrels, pickles, unicorns, the devil, and odd-ball historical figures. They have their favorite types of novelties, like finger puppets, wind-up toys, bandages, cat hats, mints, masks, squirrel feeders, lip balm, and air fresheners. Need underpants for your squirrel? They got it. Need a bacon-scented air freshener? They got it. Need an inflatable wizard hat for your cat? They got that too.

I’m a big fan of Archie McPhee. I’ve been ordering from their catalog for at least 20 years, particularly for Christmas gifts. My favorite item of all time is their (discontinued) Cicada Keychain. When I was in Seattle for business I visited their brick n’ mortar store. Every fan of zany novelty items should visit at least once in their lifetime.

The store was everything I hoped for: everything in the online catalog and more… much more. They had boxes of eyes meant for taxidermy and odd-ball stuff like that. Plus, giant heads, carnival fortune readers, and other props that fit the motif of their merchandise. The staff was helpful, and pleasant but not dead behind the eyes.

A row of the Devil Duckies that they are famous for

Giant paper-mache devil head:

Captain Archie, Fortune Teller:

My purchases:

The location I visited, in May of 2009, has since closed and the store has moved to a new location. I imagine the new location is just as magical.

If you want more insight into Archie McPhee, check out this blog post on the Secret Fun Blog and follow their CEO Mark Pahlow in twitter.